


The Letter

by afewmistakesago



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, canon AU, post 7x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 23:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afewmistakesago/pseuds/afewmistakesago
Summary: After Belle's death, Rumplestiltskin finds a letter she left for him to read.





	The Letter

Looking through Belle’s drawers still felt like an invasion of privacy. Honestly, Rumplestiltskin wasn’t quite sure why he was doing this, feeling through everything in her closet and now taking to her dresser. Maybe it was because her clothes were soft, and smelled like her, and offered tangible proof that she was once here with him, alive and warm, inside of cold and stiff as she now lay forever buried in their front lawn. Gideon was sleeping, or trying to, in the guest room they had for him, and Rumple knew he should sleep, too. It had been a long day, but the moment he looked at the empty side of the bed, he knew he would not rest tonight.

He was angry at her. He had no right to be, she had lived a full 80 years, spending over half a century with just him as company, but he still could not help but feel abandoned by her absence. He couldn’t believe she had lied to him about the prophecy, but at same time, it was so like her to do that. Maybe he should’ve seen her passing coming. He knew it was getting harder for her to move, to do anything but sleep, but when she smiled at him he couldn’t help but think she was full of life, just like the young girl he’d taken as a maid. Maybe he could have slipped something in her tea to strengthen her body, give them just a few more years. But luckily, Belle had never lost her mind or her sharpness and would’ve figured out that he’d used magic in instant. He hadn’t used magic in ages. 

With shaking hands, Rumplestiltskin opened the top drawer of her dresser. Socks, undergarments, and nightgowns greeted him. He smiled a bit as he picked one up, a light blue lace nightie he hadn’t seen in ages. He didn’t know she’d kept that. Moving things around, he was surprised to feel something hard. He pulled it out, surprised to find an envelope with “Rumplestiltskin” written in Belle’s signature cursive scrawl. He stumbled back, sitting on the bed and looking at it. It was dated just three days earlier.

Opening the envelope carefully, not wanting to crinkle a single letter, Rumplestiltskin felt like he could not breathe as his eyes skimmed a letter written to him by his deceased wife. He took a deep breathe, trying to reign in his tears as he began to read the words she’d written for him.

 

“ _ To my dearest Rumple, _

_ What a difficult letter this is to write, but I know I must. Right now, I’m sitting on our couch writing this letter. You are outside, tending to the rose garden, and it is quite the distracting view. If you are reading this, it means I must have died. You would have no other reason to look through my drawers, and I am not upset at you for going through my belongings now that I’m not there to need them. I can tell my time in this realm is ending soon, but I am not afraid. I have come to peace with it, but I know it will be a while for you to find yours. _

_ I did what I had to do about the prophecy, but I have full faith that I will see you again in the afterlife. I did not want to be immortal in this life, I wanted to treasure each day as it’s own. And I did. We spent countless years together, just us. It was the perfect life, my love, and I don’t regret any of it. Please don’t spend hours focusing on what we didn’t do - we did everything as it was meant to happen. I know when you join me here that we will spend eternity with each other, and it will somehow be even better than our lives before. My bones won’t ache, my hair will be gray again, Baelfire will be with us - how excited I am to see Baelfire again! He must be so proud of you. And my mother. I cannot wait to tell my mother about you. _

_ You have taken excellent care of me. I could not have asked for a better husband, one who is so patient with me, and would hold my hand and watch the sunset for hours. I didn’t need you to tell me that you loved me, because I could feel it every time you looked at me, but you told me anyway. Please don’t grieve my loss too hard. When you see a bright flower or a singing bluebird - that’s me, come to remind you I am always with you and Gideon. _

_ Gideon is the best thing you and I have ever done in our lives. There was never a more perfect blend of two people than our son. He may take after me when it comes to his love for learning, but he has your eyes and boyish charm. We raised him together, and I could not be more proud of him. Please tell him that, frequently and with meaning. I am so proud of him, and I love him beyond words. I wish I could see him continue to grow, but someday he’ll join us up here and we’ll be together again. Please give him my copy of ‘Her Handsome Hero’, that he may pass it on to his children. And if you do live to see any children of Gideon’s, tell them about me - the good things only, of course, Rumple.  _

_ You’re about to come back inside, and I know you’ll offer to make me tea and then let me rest my head on your shoulder for an afternoon nap on our couch, so I’ll close this letter here.  Thank you for this life. I fell in love with you, over and over and harder each time in this house we built together.  Please, never give up faith that you can and will end the Dark One curse and join me up here. But when you break the curse, enjoy some time as a mortal before joining me. Know what it’s like to not have a tomorrow guaranteed. Spend time with Gideon. I know you two will need each other now more than ever before. Our love is eternal, and I promise that you will find your way back to me. I will wait for you, as long as it takes. _

_ I love you, I love you, I love you. I could not wait until I see you again to tell you. _

_ Yours always, _

_ Belle.” _

 

Rumplestiltskin read the letter, again and again, wanting to memorize her words. He knew the day she was talking about, and she had in fact fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder, just minutes after finishing this letter. She knew her time was ending, and yet she’d made no mention of it. He felt tears go down his cheeks, wondering if he’d ever be out of them. He heard a knock at his door.

“Papa?” he heard, his son entering the room. Gideon’s eyes were red, like he’d just been crying. “I’m sorry, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t apologize, son,” Rumple said, motioning for Gideon to sit down next to him. “I can’t sleep either, without her.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Rumple realizing he was still holding the letter. “She wrote me a letter three days ago about this,” he said.

Gideon’s mouth curled, a small attempt at a smile. “Of course she did.”

Rumple offered it to him, and he watched Gideon’s eyes well as he read his mother’s final sentiments to them. “She was really the best, wasn’t she?”

“Yes. I keep expecting her to walk in and tell me not to look so sad,” Rumple said. 

“I know. I could almost hear her asking me to take my shoes off when I walked in the house this afternoon.”

“Her loss is… devastating, and almost entirely immobilizing. But I’m going to try and find this Guardian, so I can be mortal and reunite with her.”

“I know,” Gideon said, looking at the floor. Rumple had told him about Belle purposefully misinterpreting the prophecy. “If I can help you in any way…”

“I’ll let you know,” Rumple said. “But I want you to know I’m not going to get rid of the power and leave you. You won’t suffer the loss of two parents immediately after one another. I promise.”

Gideon nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Thank you. I don’t think I could take that.”

There was another pause, Rumple wondering what to do next, then trying to think what of what Belle would do. “I think I know what your mother would say right now.”

His son smirked. “Nothing seems so bleak after a cup of tea.”

“Exactly,” he said, rising and inviting his son to follow him into the kitchen. The following days may be filled with grieving, but he knew his sun had set, and someday soon he would see her again. 


End file.
